Thursday, February 25, 2010

Skates + Death + Olympics = NBC Heaven

When the mother of Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette died of a heart attack shortly after arriving in Vancouver to see her daughter's Olympic performance, you knew what was coming: epic pathos milking. And NBC did not disappoint. Consider:
  • Color analyst Sandra Bezic, the queen of pretentious over-enunciation, declaring that Ms. Rochette is both the "daughter of Canada" and the "daughter of the Olympics," is an "incomparably courageous soul," and "made magic on the ice." True, if magic involves double-footing multiple landings.
  • Scott Hamilton, whose voice registers higher than a shitzu's yelp, weeping his way through two days of analysis and stating that this performance was "not about medals." Please. The only way Ms. Rochette would not have earned a medal was if her routine involved urinating on the maple leaf flag.
  • Meredith Vieira, "View" yacker turned Today Show co-host, informing Ms. Rochette that her mother is "definitely smiling down upon [her]." Of course she isn't, for two reasons: 1) the dead do not "live on;" 2) if they did, abusive parents of skaters would still never smile, particularly when their daughters only earn bronze.

Here's an idea: instead of fetishizing death, NBC should, just once, give the public a brief education on the baffling difference between a salchow, toe loop, lutz and axel.


Anonymous said...

Touchtown. And why can't I post a comment here without having to read sanskrit you hypocrite

Mark Hazard said...


Too soon! Too soon!

- Mark Hazard

H. Brandt said...

why would you to drink that above if they didnt have it? i dont undertsnd.

Matt Rosenblatt said...

To Anonymous -- nice use of former posts! To Mr. Hazard -- granted, if comedy is indeed "tragedy + time" then I could have waited at least another hour. To H. Brandt -- huh?!

-Matt Rosenblatt

H. Brandt said...

you seem to be person who lash instead of hug not good

H. Brandt said...

you to for answer me!

Greg Ippolito said...

H. Brandt = Japanese, or head injury?


Anonymous said...

Beautiful work. My fav since guy smiley.

H. Brandt said...

Not to be japanese, thank. If for you know me you to be me as well! i have rite to see and say as well!